Who I am.

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Asheville, North Carolina, United States

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

My life, from my eyes 2

My Mother RIP and Me
Entry 2 -

Thinking back when I was younger I was so accidental. I must say I am extremely lucky to even look normal. Many of my accidents thankfully happened when I was young, so I guess with change and age is what made me so lucky. My timeline may not be correct but here it goes:

I was in a daycare and we where playing out side. If some of you remember they used to make the hard plastic rectangle type swings. I don't know if I was pushing the swing with an imaginary friend or just pushing it to push, but I pushed the swing as hard as I could. As it was coming back down someone called my name and I turned my head to the left. SMACK corner of the swing went right through my right cheek. Fortunately the  scar still shows inside of my mouth and not on the outside. (ER)

You would think that would have been my last swing set incident but your wrong lol. I was playing spider, for those that don't know what that is. You lay on your stomach on the swing such as oh, I don't know, superman. You use your hands and feet to crawl and push in the air. All was going great until the second swoop and my face planted, or should I say nose planted into the ground. Broken and scraped was the end result. (No trip to doctor) In fact I didn't know I broke it until about two years ago hahah.

Next up, You know those seat belt rules that didn't exist when we were growing up. Well I was standing up in a truck and breaks were slammed, and that's when my bottom teeth went through the bottom of my lip.(ER? I don't think so?)

Yes, there is more....So I was about five and I was running with a pack of toilet paper to the bathroom, I hit the carpet metal plate, tripped into the corner of the door frame and SPLIT my top lip in half. Apparently I was told that I went running with my hands covering my bloody mouth and when my mom moved away my hands she passed out. It was bad.

Now this one did not end to badly but some scraps and knots but it is probably the most hilarious. I can remember it like yesterday. I was riding in the car with my grandma Angela and decided to open the door, Yes, I opened the door  as she was driving. I guess I was maybe 7. I held on to the door handle flapping around like superwoman and she was so panicked she actually kept driving, not fast mind you but screaming at me and driving lol. I finally let go hit the ground and rolled to the curb. Man that was fun hahah....

I think given everything I did growing up, I kinda think I may have missed a calling to be a stunt person or something. Anyways that's what I got for now, as I remember things I will update this post.



My entry's are not to upset anyone, just a good way to release my thoughts, feelings, ext. Perhaps someone else can learn from my mistakes, experiences or just be aware.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Working on getting back to me....

     Life has really been so crazy for all of us these days. I have had major changes in my life and a lot of loss. I really want to focus on getting back on track, and putting my life in perspective. I am sure many of you know how that feels. We have a lot that will change, things will happen we don't understand or like. We will have loss, pain, suffering. So many things that will make you want to throw your hands up, yet for what....Why is it that so many people give up and take the wrong path? Is it because they are week? Is it because they have no one to help them or make them do otherwise?
     I don't know about you but I would like more for my life. That is why I am going to take baby steps. Working on my appearance for myself not others. Creating a better life by doing what is best for me, not in the selfish way....just in the way of making me happy. I am no longer going to let others bring me down, or make there problems become mine. It is time to believe in myself and make the people who didn't see before know that I am important. I am an amazing person and I am not going to let anything else get in my way of happiness. It's not about being in charge or looking out for only me....It's about putting myself on the top of my list and creating the life I want for me.
     Life has been hard for me but I have already accomplished a lot and with my strength, my accomplishments are endless. So my advice to you is think about where you are right now, what are you doing right and how can you improve it?

Monday, January 7, 2013

My life, From my eyes 1

Entry 1-
My life has been nothing but difficult from the start. I don't remember a lot of my child hood but what I do recall, was never anything spectacular. I was the socially awkward girl that just wanted attention. My parents separated when I was a young child, I can't ever remember them really being together. My life was a world of accidents and I was one of them. Growing up my mother didn't exactly let me spend time with my father. I can remember the cops being called because she wouldn't let me go with my father. She would make me say hateful things to him and then at some point the fighting stopped. My father couldn't take it any more and quit trying, moved around a lot and well I was with my mom and was lucky to see my dad. I let the reality of things blur the situation and I became mad at my father, I couldn't believe how he would just forget about me and let her win. As I grew up I came to the understanding of my fathers reality. We all have issues and we are all at different points in our lives, parents, kids, friends, and family. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices we do not want to in order to take care of ourselves.

I had very strong feelings about my family and they where not extremely positive. Looking back as an adult I am aware and more understanding but it still does not change the things that I went through. I know that my views of how I think my life was like are different from outsiders and others involved. You may agree or disagree but most of you that know me, I had it rough, of course most of us my age and older had it just as bad if not worst.

My entry's are not to upset anyone, just a good way to release my thoughts, feelings, ext. Perhaps someone else can learn from my mistakes, experiences or just be aware.

Monday, September 24, 2012

America the Distant




           Once you have become a soldier you are always fighting to survive. People forget that these men and women volunteer to put their lives on the line for the country. Some people may not agree with war, but it is happening. These civilians decided to step away from their families, friends and loved ones to enlist and fight for our country. When something happens to them or if they decided to get out of the military, where is their support?  When a civilian enlists into the military they are guided from start to finish. When a soldier gets out of the military they are alone, having to figure out how to become a civilian again.
When the soldiers come home, everyone always expects them to be the same people that they remember them being before they enlisted. Instead, the soldiers come home with problems mentally, physically and emotionally, not knowing how to become those people again. Yes, there is plenty of help for them, but there is no guidance. Civilians sign on with a military branch and they are guided from beginning to end. The soldiers are taught how to live, work, and function as a team with constant guidance from superior officers. The entire time they are in the military they are being trained to become soldiers. When the soldiers get out of the military they are still soldiers, trying to figure out how to become a civilian again on their own.
Going into the military these soldiers are grouped together as a unit. The soldiers then develop a relationship for each other that no civilian will ever have the luck of feeling. These soldiers especially the ones that go to battle eat, sleep, and fight together. Unfortunately they may even experience death together. The things that these soldiers have to see and do while at war can become a struggle, not only for them but for their loved ones as well. Theses soldiers as a unit have experienced pain and suffering, not to mention adrenaline, on a level that no civilian could ever imagine. While they are in the military they develop a form of dependency on one another. When they get out they lose that comfort of having someone being there that knows and understands what they have been through.
Everything that these soldiers have to do, they are told where, how, and when to take action. These soldiers have to forget their personal backgrounds to work with one another. It does not matter what their color, sex, or size is, because they must put their differences aside in order to survive. The soldiers have to become completely different people in order to deal with the death around them. Soldiers will watch their closest friends die in front of their face, and watch others die by their hands. Soldiers will come close to death just about every day, and yet they are expected to come home and start right where they left off. These soldiers should have just as much support when leaving the military as they did when they enlisted.
So many soldiers come home suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and many other illnesses. When the soldiers get out of the military, they are responsible to seek out help for themselves for these problems. Some of the soldiers realize that they have problems, but some do not. There are many programs and organizations out there for them including the VA Hospitals and other benefits; however it is their responsibility to find help. Upon discharge they have so many things that they have to take care of before they are able to leave the military. They have to get all of the need papers signed; they have to return all equipment. If the soldier lived on base they also have to have their bunk cleared. In this process, there should be a program developed to help these soldiers to go back to being civilians.
Civilians that have not been soldiers or known soldiers may not really understand how hard this is for a soldier to overcome. Many of our soldiers are just kids. As civilians they grew up with their parents always telling them what to do, and then they signed on with the military to have officers telling them what to do. After so many years of them being told what to do, they are expected to get out of the military and know what to do without direction.
The soldiers that decide to get out of the military are starting all over. The soldiers may not have the organizational skills, structure or direction needed, to make the first step in becoming a civilian. Some of the soldiers may be able to use what they learned while in the military as a job. Other soldiers may have to go back to school. These soldiers are starting a new path of their life with military-related medical issues. Most of these soldiers are afraid to even admit they have problems, afraid of how it will affect their chances with school, and work. The soldiers have to worry about how other people will perceive them, and what they expect from them. As a soldier they have to do a lot of things that civilians may not understand or comprehend.
When a soldier joins the military, they have to change their mindset. They have to change their concepts of right and wrong in order to survive and adapt. For instance, if they are in a line of fire against children, it’s either kill or be killed. These are the decisions that they are faced with on a day to day basis, as opposed to a civilian’s decision on what to eat or wear, etc. The hardships war brings to our soldiers, family, and friends are significantly overwhelming for all parties. It is not fair that these soldiers are expected to not change from who they once were and not receive proper help to reassemble their new lives as civilians.
When a soldier enlists, they become the property of the military. As a solider they have a routine that they abide by, and they have schedules that they have to follow. They are told what position, squad, and job they will remain in throughout the time they will serve. These soldiers, oddly enough, gave up their freedom in order for civilians to have their freedom. Then why shouldn’t these soldiers get that same treatment when they are finished with the military? The fact that they made it home alive from war multiple times is a feat in its self that most civilians will never understand.
Our soldiers from past, present, and future should not just have a day of recognition, they should have a month. These soldiers and their families deserve to be celebrated in life and in death. They should receive as much help as possible from all resources when departing from the military. They may not be of use in war any longer, but they are the civilians that will embrace the life they now have. These soldiers have experienced death on such a scale that they truly know what it means to fight for their lives. These soldiers are true hero’s that deserve a fighting chance becoming a civilian once again.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Face to Face, Strung Out, Blitz Kid, and The Darlings @ The Orange Peel. Asheville, NC

May 25th 2011
Face to Face, Strung Out, Blitz Kid, and The Darlings
@ The Orange Peel. Asheville, NC

Okay, so let me just start out by saying how freaking "AWESOME" it was to be able to see one of my personal favorite bands of all time in Asheville. If you don't know who this band is let me just tell you a little bit to catch you up to speed. Face to face is an amazing Independent band, they have made a big impression on punk rock on there own. In my opinion they have made it this far on there own. Now owning there own label and what not, they have been back out on the road and making new music. Every chance I get, I make it a point to see them. This time was one of the luckiest for me ever, I was actually able to meet the drummer of the band, and again meet Scott yet again.It's bands like them and that keep me listing. All together this was a great line up with some really awesome people. I was able to meet many of the bands and I have absolutely no complaints. They are all very nice and just trying to keep there music alive. This show was so great that I couldn't even tell you about it with out sounding like a little girl lol. This may be a short and sweet post, but the show was a "BLASTERIFFIC TIME". I can't wait to see everyone of those bands again.

The Adicts in Hell @ The Masq. in ATL March 20,2011

Arriving at the venue right on time we walked in and checked out the merch ran 2 the bathroom and waited 2 see what this night would bring us.

Opening the show was a band from Athens GA they where a very lucky band to be added to this show. I think anyone in the punk genre would find it an honor to be playing with a band with such stature as the Adicts. The band Burns Like Fire facebook.com/burnslikefiremusic remind me of some of the bands from the stillnotdead www.stillnotdead.com shows. With the punk rock attitude sounding much like a mix of harmonizing dirty punk. As usual when you go on first you don't always have the biggest crowd. I like to think that is when it really counts for a band. You have to prove your worth as a band and put on a good show. Your energy can control the show just as much as the amount of people you are playing with. Either way a show is a show and if you can just make at least one person like you it can plant the seed and open doors. Its funny how when u show up Earlie to a show, not only do you get your money's worth but you take the chance of finding out about new awesome and at times horrible bands. I myself would like to see Burns Like Fire again.

As the night goes it's always interesting to see how many people end up there at the end of it all. Watching the crowd shift from band to band between sets. The second band of the night was Ralph. Might I say wow! I was blown away and so excited to hear a new punk band sounding so much like the old school punk.So upbeat and in your face. makes me so happy how each generation takes on an old sound and makes it, its own. we are coming into the era of punk again and it feels good. For those bands who have stuck it out and didn't make it before or just didn't give a shit. They are coming back and I am loving it.

In closing the night where The Adicts www.adicts.us/. I must say it got a little frustrating to wait tell they came on standing around for almost and hour but it was so rewarding when they came out. Playing a set list for about two hours long, now that is what I call a performance. Can I just say even though I have never seen them before wow they are just as good now as they where in the past amazingly mind blowing one of the best damn shows i have ever been to. I have been to many shows for all types of music. They had so much energy and the make up and confetti all the toys and antics, the sea of fans all over. The set list was pretty much every fav. song of mine. from the most popular viva la revolution to chines take away. I had to make my way to the front and as always it was more than worth it. I will definitely go to every show they play out this way and might even consider a vacation to see them somewhere else.



It was such an Amazing time and a show I will never forget.



Tuesday, March 8, 2011

311, and The Movement @ The Orange Peel in Asheville, NC Feb. 28, 2011

Let me just tell you how excited I am about the Orange Peel http://www.theorangepeel.net/ booking so many amazing bands these days. It's a great venue but unfortunately it h
ad never really booked much of my kind of music until the last few years. It's so freaking awesome to not have to drive 3 hours for every show that I want to see.

Of course if you know anything about me I try to go to some shows more then once if I have the money and really enjoy the bands. I myself have actually seen 311 including this show a total of 9 times and they never get old. the fan base this band has is amazing. for the first time they decided to do a 311 cruise. Of course I didn't have the money 2 go to this but on the way they played Asheville, NC out of the few shows they set up along the way. This was good news for me of course. first thing when i found out they would be playing I had 2 buy my tickets in advance of course you knew this show would sale out and that it did.

They had a band open up for them called The Movement http://themovementvibe.com/. I personally have never heard of them but wow. they put on a great show. they where out talking to the people and hanging out at the end of the night. They where so nice talking about how lucky they where to be on the show and much music meant to them.

311 http://www.311.com/ always puts on an amazing set. The energy they put into there music. Not to mention all the classic songs they still play every time they do a show. (see SET LIST below)


1. Jackpot*
2. Prisoner
3. Full Ride
4. Sick Tight
5. Taiyed**
6. You Wouldn’t Believe
7. Galaxy
8. All Mixed Up
9. Loco
10. Applied Science
11. Nix Hex
12. Plain
13. Do You Right
14. Don’t Tread On Me
BASS SOLO
15. Beautiful Disaster
16. Tribute

17. Amber
18. Creatures (For a While)
e:
19. Who’s Got the Herb
20. Down


*- With extended intro
**- Nick used a Gibson ES-135 that he acquired earlier in the day
*** -
All in all it was such an amazing night. I never get tired of seeing them. Being able to see a band like that in the type of venue the Orange Peel is makes it that much more worth it. I feel that when you go to any show in a smaller to medium venue when it's standing area. It really gives you the chance as a fan to be wear ever you want to be and take it to a more intimate level. I look forward to the future The Orange Peel will bring to the Asheville area. This makes me such a happy music lover...... I will still keep driving all around to enjoy the bands I love and help them as a band with my full support.

By Stupunka
Stephani Fajardo

All Photos by Stupunka Design